How to Work with Complicated People
When you read the title of this post, did someone come to mind?
It’s almost a guarantee. We all have a name (or two… or three) we could write down — someone whose presence in our workday seems to require a little more effort, a little more patience, a little more emotional bandwidth than we’d planned for.
The truth is, complicated people aren’t rare. Most of us encounter them in one of five familiar patterns:
- An unwillingness to change, learn, or grow
- Overly negative or critical behaviour
- Laziness or a poor work ethic
- Poor communication skills
- Manipulative behaviour
If any of those felt familiar, you’re in very good company.
Here’s the question I’d love to leave you with: what if the problem isn’t them, but the pattern we haven’t yet recognized?
George Bernard Shaw said it best — “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” We assume our words land the way we intended. We assume the other person hears what we meant. Most of the time, we’re wrong, and the friction we feel isn’t difficulty — it’s translation error.
The good news is that people are surprisingly predictable once you know what to look for. Each of us is wired in our own way to engage with the world. Some of us lead with results, some with relationships, some with steadiness, some with precision. Once you can spot how someone is wired, you can stop guessing and start communicating in the language they actually understand.
That’s where everything shifts. Suddenly, the colleague who seemed impossible is just someone who needs the facts, not the small talk. The friend who feels exhausting is someone who craves connection before tasks. The boss who comes across as abrupt is simply hardwired for results.
You don’t have to like every personality. You just have to learn how to work with them — and that’s a skill anyone can build.
Want to go deeper?
I’m leading a 6-week How to Work with Complicated People Master Class starting June 17 (no class July 1). Together, we’ll unpack the Maxwell DISC framework, identify your own wiring, and build practical strategies for the complicated people already in your life — at work, at home, and everywhere in between.
You’ll leave with tools you can use the very next day.
I’d love to have you with us.
